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This Valentine’s Day, many older Americans will search for love online. About one third of people aged 50 and over turned to a dating app or website last year, according to Pew Research Center data released this month. And while dating sites like Match and eHarmony can be great platforms for finding a genuine connection, older adults should be aware of the potential for romance scams online.
Romance scams are a growing threat: American victims of all ages reported losing nearly $1 billion in 2021 alone, according to the FBI. Scammers will create fake dating profiles and pose as someone else to gain your trust and affection, sometimes chatting several times a day. Then they’ll start asking for money, using your blossoming relationship to manipulate and steal from you. Even the savviest among us are liable to fall victim to false lovers who are eager to take advantage of our desire to feel a connection.
Read: Older workers are fooling themselves when it comes to work, money and caregiving
Older Americans and retirees are especially vulnerable to financial fraud. That’s because many have built up significant financial resources through a lifetime of savings. They may also be perceived to lack digital literacy, although this is quickly becoming an outdated assumption, according to Pew. Plus, with 43% of adults aged 65 and over reporting being single, many are actively seeking long-term relationships.
Sadly, the embarrassment and shame that often come with being a victim can prevent people from reporting these crimes, making it difficult to track the extent of the problem and stop these scammers.
During my career as global head of fraud prevention at Citi and as a former FBI special agent, I have seen financial scams continue to evolve from nascent opportunistic situations into sophisticated digital operations—and romance scams are certainly no exception. Fortunately, I’m here to assure you that your love life is far from doomed; and you can absolutely stay safe while finding love online by taking a few simple steps.
The most important thing you can do is learn how to avoid getting scammed in the first place.
- When getting to know someone, be mindful of sharing identifying information such as your job or location, as scammers can use this information against you.
- Keep your conversations to trusted dating websites and apps rather than texting, because sharing your phone number before you’ve verified the relationship can lead to trouble.
- Never send money or gifts to someone you haven’t met in person. Asking you to share your feelings and your finances is a major red flag.
Here’s one final — and important — piece of advice: don’t let romance scammers scare you away from finding love online. While the threat of scams can be concerning, older Americans can have positive experiences using dating apps and websites. Still, if you suspect your online relationship is a scam, it’s important to end all contact immediately and file a complaint with the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center.
The reality is that today’s scammers are savvy, and there’s no guarantee that you will never fall victim to fraud. That said, you can take proactive steps to improve your ability to spot a romance scammer and avoid becoming a victim.
When dating online, watch out for red flags and always protect your personal information. No matter how smitten you might be, always remember to listen to your head—not your heart. To all the older Americans searching for love this Valentine’s Day: let’s make sure that the only thing you’re falling for is “the one” –and not the one who’s scheming to steal your money.
Mike Steinbach is global head of fraud prevention, Citi Personal Banking and Wealth Management.
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